As 2015 begins, have you seriously considered what your past year had been like? I am sure it was not all roses. Have you also wondered and asked this question to yourself? “Why do I do what I do?” Most people would answer, “I just want to” or “somebody made me do it” Did you know that the answer you give to this question tells a lot about who you really are?
A friend told me recently about her frustration with a woman who goes to the same volunteer work for kids that she goes to. They are not what you can consider friends, but she was so upset with the woman’s disregard to authority and specific rules.
In that volunteer work, they have a rule that children must be treated equally and are strongly discouraged to give money or expensive gifts. The woman, however, violated these rules over and over again and kept giving money and special gifts to only a few. My friend’s frustration over the system made her decide to stop going for awhile hoping to make her point known.
Like this woman, this year was like a roller coaster ride for me too, because of the unexpected turns, sudden drops and uncontrollable speed. I’ve heard the most bizarre gossip stories and accusations about me from people who hardly even know me, and I’ve had major conflicts with family, relatives and friends too.
I’ve always been branded as a person who speak my mind, and in most occasions when I do, the initial reaction I get is that of anger. I often see myself caught in a situation when I have to make a choice between being silent and enduring the misery, or speaking out in love and praying for a change of heart to occur.
There are times though that God impresses in my heart to just be silent and pray. Being a very outspoken woman that I am, this is the most difficult thing to do – be silent. Surprisingly, with a huge amount of grace, I am now able to do that.
If you ask me, “Why I do what I do?”, my answer is having that “sense of purpose”. What makes me opt for the difficult choices? It is knowing that Jesus has got my back.
See how very much my Father loves me, for He calls me His child, and that is who I am! 1 John 3:1
I do not feel guilty, and I can come to God with bold confidence. 1 John 3:21
I do what I do because I have an advocate who holds the steering wheel of my life, so I know I am safe.
If He tells me to go, I go.
If He tells me to stop, I stop.
If He tells me to speak, I speak.
If He tells me to be silent, I keep silent.
If He tells me to make a turn, I turn.
And if He tells me it is time to shift my gears, then I do.
I do not understand completely, and I guess I never would, for His ways and His thoughts are so much higher than mine. But this is what I know, He loves me and He knows what’s best for me! This is why I do what I do!
Being lavished with so much love, I too must love those who love me, those who think impure thoughts about me, and even those who slander and gossip about me – even when at times it means I have to be silent and just pray. Jesus modeled this best, and so I try to live by His example. People may not always understand the way I express my love, but it is God who sees my heart and whose approval I seek.
We love each other because, He loved us first. 1 John 5:19
Looking back, 2014 was like an adventure. I had many lows, but I also had many highs for which I can be thankful for! Here’s to a better and brighter 2015!