Marriage Matters

Derek Shepherd on Manhood

Grey’s Anatomy Season 11

I have always been a fan of Shonda Rhime’s Grey’s Anatomy since the first season premiere. I remember having TV series marathons with my husband and son just to catch up with the latest episodes.

As a nurse, I find their emergency response management very realistic and updated. Well, I guess this is the nurse in me missing the Emergency Room rush. One thing that I was looking forward to and I guess everybody else as well was the outcome of the marriage and career rift between Derek Shepherd and Meredith Grey-Shepherd.

For once I thought they were giving up on their marriage for their careers. I know some people might disagree with me on this, but here are my thoughts. Derek made the right decision based on his role as a leader and as the man of the house. Technically, a man’s priority is in this order: to lead the family as God has designed it, to protect and then to provide for them.

Derek not only followed the right order of things, but also made a major personal sacrifice. He placed a premium on his family instead of a very promising career of fame at the White House. This to me is something admirable. I heard this quote a number of times from men in church who are prime movers in taking manhood back: “Do not sacrifice family in the altar of success”.

Let me be clear that I have nothing against men who work overseas and choose to sacrifice being separated with their family just to be able to provide for them. I just felt that Derek did the best option. It is best in his circumstance because Derek already had a following in his current job and did not have to desire for more.

Now let me talk about Meredith, but then again, this is my personal opinion. I feel it would have been more in the order of things if she had given it a more serious thought if she considered Derek’s interest in mind. In that way she would respect her spouse and support his lead. In the order of things, Meredith’s priority as God designed it is: to submit to God and then submit to her husband, to be a suitable helper for him and to be the manager of her family.

Her career is optional because Derek is a good provider. It doesn’t mean though that she puts her own career aside. It is good that Derek allows her to pursue it, but in the order of priority, her husband and her children comes first and then her career. Meredith already saw how her mother’s career tore her family apart, broke her marriage and left her scarred as a child.

Lastly, I know many women today are pushed to lead and to pursue a career because they feel they are equal with men. In the course of things, however, these women take on the role that men should be doing. As an effect men either become complacent or emancipated because of the over rule. In both scenarios it destroys the family.

My take on this, both the man and his wife should decide as a team and think not as separate beings, but decide on what’s best for the entire family.


Grey’s Anatomy:
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